"My Garmin"

Garmin

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I have a little Garmin

It sits there in my car

A Garmin is a driver's friend

It tells you where you are

I have a little Garmin

I've had it all my life

It's better than the normal ones

My Garmin is my wife

It gives me full instructions

Especially how to drive

"It's thirty miles an hour", it says

"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start

And when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever

Safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red

And when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively

Just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front

And all those to the rear

And taking this into account

It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver

Has so helpful a device

For when we leave and lock the car

It still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling

Each journey's pretty fraught

So why don't I exchange it

And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,

Makes sure I'm properly fed,

It washes all my shirts and things

And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages

And my tendency to scoff,

I do wish that once in a while

I could turn the damned thing off!

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