<+ 3 DRUNKS +>

 3 Drunks Leaving The Bar Hail A Taxi   

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A Guy Asked Girl In Library

  A Guy Asked A Girl In A University Library 

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"Do you mind if I sit beside you?” 
   
The girl replied with a loud voice, 

"I DON'T WANT TO SPEND 

THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" 
   
All the students in the library 

started staring at the guy; 

he was truly embarrassed. 

   
After a couple of minutes, 

the girl walked quietly to the guy's table
And said: "I study psychology 

and I know what a man is thinking. 

I guess you felt embarrassed, right?” 
   
The guy then responded with a loud voice, 

“$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? 

THAT'S TOO MUCH!” 
   
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. 

   

Next day outside the guy whispered in her ear, 

"I study law, and I know how to screw people". 

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WHAT TO TELL YOUR WIFE

What To Tell Your Wife When She Asks 

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Bought vs Homemade

 Bought vs Homemade 

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(Note the expression in the picture) 

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Six year old Annie returns home from school 

and says that today she had her first 

family planning lesson at school.

   

 Her mother, very interested, asks:  

"Oh... How did it go?"

   

 "I nearly died of shame!" she answers.  

"Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies.  

Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.  

Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."

   

Her mother answers laughingly, 

"But that’s no reason to be ashamed."

   

"No... but I can't tell them that we were so poor 

that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!"  

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Grey Haired Brigade

You and I are Members.   Read and Pass on.

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typical U.S. household headed by a person age 65 or older has a net worth 47 times greater than a household headed by someone under 35, according to an analysis of census data.  They like to refer to us as senior citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in some cases dinosaurs. Some of us are "Baby Boomers" getting ready to retire.  Others have been retired for some time.  We walk a little slower these days and our eyes and hearing are not what they once were.  We have worked hard, raised our children, worshiped our God and grown old together.  Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over the hill, and that is probably true.  But before writing us off completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into consideration. 

   

In school we studied English, history, math, and science which enabled us to lead America into the technological age.  Most of us remember what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience.  We remember the days of telephone party-lines, 25 cent gasoline, and milk and ice being delivered to our homes.  For those of you who don't know what an icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators.  A few even remember when cars were started with a crank. Yes, we lived those days.  We are probably considered old fashioned and outdated by many.  But there are a few things you need to remember before completely writing us off. 

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We won World War II, fought in Korea and Viet Nam.  We can quote The Pledge of Allegiance, and know where to place our hand while doing so.  We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many friends on the battlefield.  We didn't fight for the Socialist States of America; we fought for the "Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave."  We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag.  We know the words to the Star Spangled Banner, America, and America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing.  

   

We have lived what many of you have only read in history books and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for America.  Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least one good fight left in us. We have loved this country, fought for it, and died for it, and now we are going to save it. It is our country and nobody is going to take it away from us. We took oaths to defend America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath we plan to keep. 

   

There are those who want to destroy this land we love but, like our founders, there is no way we are going to remain silent.  It was mostly the young people of this nation who elected Obama and the Democratic Congress.  You fell for the "Hope and Change" which in reality was nothing but "Hype and Lies."  You youngsters have tasted socialism and seen evil face to face, and have found you don't like it after all. 

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 You make a lot of noise, but most are all too interested in their careers or "Climbing the Social Ladder" to be involved in such mundane things as patriotism and voting.  Many of those who fell for the "Great Lie" in 2008 are now having buyer's remorse.  With all the education we gave you, you didn't have sense enough to see through the lies and instead drank the 'Kool-Aid.'  Now you're paying the price and complaining about it.  No jobs, lost mortgages, higher taxes, higher health insurance premiums and less freedom.  This is what you voted for and this is what you got.  We entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty and you traded it for a paycheck and a fancy house.

   

 Well, don't worry youngsters, the Grey-Haired Brigade is here, and in 2014 we are going to take back our nation.  We may drive a little slower than you would like but we get where we're going, and in 2014 we're going to the polls by the millions.  This land does not belong to the man in the White House nor to the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Eric Holder.  It belongs to "We the People"  and "We the People" plan to reclaim our land and our freedom. We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren.  So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, Stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the "Grey-Haired Brigade."

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(- America's Conundrums -)

 Conundrum - Thought provoking 

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Free people are not equal.  Equal people are not free.   "A gun is like a parachute.  If you need one,  and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again."   The definition of the word Conundrum is: something that is puzzling or confusing.   Here are six Conundrums of socialism in the United States of America:   1. America is capitalist and greedy -  yet half of the population is subsidized.   2. Half of the population is subsidized -  yet they think they are victims.   3. They think they are victims -  yet their representatives run the government.   4. Their representatives run the government -  yet the poor keep getting poorer.   5. The poor keep getting poorer -   yet they have things that people  in other countries only dream about.   6. They have things that people  in other countries only dream about -  yet they want America to be more like those other countries.   Think about it! And that, my friends,  pretty much sums up the USA in the 21st Century.     ~     ~     Makes you wonder who is doing the math.   These three, short sentences tell you  a lot about the direction of our current  government and cultural environment:   1. We are advised to NOT judge  ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics,  but we are encouraged to judge  ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics.   Funny how that works.   And here's another one worth considering...   2. Seems we constantly hear about how  Social Security is going to run out of money.   But we never hear about welfare or  food stamps running out of money?   What's interesting is the first group  "worked for" their money, but the second didn't.   Think about it.....and Last but not least:   3. Why are we cutting benefits for our veterans,   no pay raises for our military and cutting our army  to a level lower than before WWII, but we are not  stopping the payments or benefits to illegal aliens.     Am I the only one missing something here?

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Good Old West Virginia Boys

Good Old West Virginia Boys 

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Were talking about how they could fix up their old Chevy when a couple of their buddies came by on their way to the local tavern. 

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So they decided to go along with them to drink a few beers and eat burgers while they talked about what to do with the old Chevy. 

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A woman at a table next to them, who was eating a sandwich, began to cough loudly and it soon became apparent that she was having some difficulty controlling herself! 

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One of the good old boys looked at her and asked, “Kin ya swallar?” The woman shook her head no. 

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Then he asked, “Kin ya breathe?” The woman was now turning blue and could not even answer him. 

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So he walked over to her, lifted her up and pulled down her drawers and quickly gave both of her butt checks big wet licks with his tongue! 

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The woman was so shocked by what he did that she had a violent spasm and the obstruction just flew out of her mouth! 

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As she started to breath again, the good old boy sat back down at his table with his three other West Virginia buddies. 

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All was quiet for a minute, until his buddy drawls, “Ya know, I’d heerd about that there ‘Hind Lick’ thing, but I ain’t niver seed nobody do it befo dis time!

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Story About A Lady In The Hospital

I was told a story about a lady in the hospital who was near death when an area Chaplain came to visit her. 

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This Chaplain was a very young girl with long blond hair. She listened to the lady who was ill and left her a small gift for comfort. 

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The gift was a tiny ceramic frog. 

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The next day a friend came to visit her that was also a member of this lady's church. 

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The lady told her friend about the beautiful young Chaplain who came to visit her.  

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The friend was so impressed with the way the lady had improved and felt the need to find and speak to this young Chaplain. 

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In her search to find the young girl, she was repeatedly reassured that most all chaplains were older men and that there could not be a young girl that fit the description given. 

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Upon returning to the lady in the hospital, a nurse entered the room and noticed the ceramic frog.  

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The nurse made the comment “I see you have a guardian angel with you.” 

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As she held the little frog we asked why she made the comment and the nurse told us that the frog stood for: 

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Forever 

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Rely 

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On 

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God 

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To The World You Might Be One Person; 

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But To One Person You Might Be the World. 

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You have been Tagged by the Froggy to pass this on to all your good friends! 

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The Lord says when 2 or more are gathered in My Name, there I will be also!  

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(~ Two Americas ~)

In early January 2014, Bob Lonsberry, a Rochester talk radio personality on WHAM 1180 AM, said this in response to Obama's "income inequality speech":                             Two Americas 
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The Democrats are right, there are two Americas. 
The America that works, and the America that doesn’t. 
The America that contributes, and the America that doesn’t. 
It’s not the haves and the have nots, it’s the dos and the do nots. 
Some people do their duty as Americans, obey the law, support themselves, contribute to society, and others don’t. 
That’s the divide in America. 
It’s not about income inequality, it’s about civic irresponsibility. 
It’s about a political party that preaches hatred, greed and victimization in order to win elective office. 
It’s about a political party that loves power more than it loves its country.   That’s not invective, that’s truth, and it’s about time someone said it. 
The politics of envy was on proud display a couple weeks ago when President Obama pledged the rest of his term to fighting “income inequality.” 
He noted that some people make more than other people, that some people have higher incomes than others, and he says that’s not just. 
That is the rationale of thievery. The other guy has it, you want it, Obama will take it for you. Vote Democrat. 
That is the philosophy that produced Detroit. It is the electoral philosophy that is destroying America. 
It conceals a fundamental deviation from American values and common sense because it ends up not benefiting the people who support it, but a betrayal. 
The Democrats have not empowered their followers, they have enslaved them in a culture of dependence and entitlement, of victim-hood and anger instead of ability and hope. 
The president’s premise – that you reduce income inequality by debasing the successful – seeks to deny the successful the consequences of their choices and spare the unsuccessful the consequences of their choices. 
Because, by and large, income variations in society is a result of different choices leading to different consequences. 
Those who choose wisely and responsibility have a far greater likelihood of success, while those who choose foolishly and irresponsibly have a far greater likelihood of failure.   Success and failure usually manifest themselves in personal and family income. 
You choose to drop out of high school or to skip college - and you are apt to have a different outcome than someone who gets a diploma and pushes on with purposeful education. 
You have your children out of wedlock and life is apt to take one course; you have them within a marriage and life is apt to take another course. 
Most often in life our destination is determined by the course we take. 
My doctor, for example, makes far more than I do.  There is significant income inequality between us. 
Our lives have had an inequality of outcome, but, our lives also have had an in equality of effort. 
While my doctor went to college and then devoted his young adulthood to medical school and residency, I got a job in a restaurant. 
He made a choice, I made a choice, and our choices led us to different outcomes.
His outcome pays a lot better than mine. 
Does that mean he cheated and Barack Obama needs to take away his wealth? 
No, it means we are both free men in a free society where free choices lead to different outcomes. 
It is not inequality Barack Obama intends to take away, it is freedom.  The freedom to succeed, and the freedom to fail. 
There is no true option for success if there is no true option for failure. 
The pursuit of happiness means a whole lot less when you face the punitive hand of government if your pursuit brings you more happiness than the other guy. 
Even if the other guy sat on his arse and did nothing. Even if the other guy made a lifetime’s worth of asinine and shortsighted decisions. 
Barack Obama and the Democrats preach equality of outcome as a right, while completely ignoring inequality of effort. 
The simple Law of the Harvest – as ye sow, so shall ye reap – is sometimes applied as, “The harder you work, the more you get." 
Obama would turn that upside down. Those who achieve are to be punished as enemies of society and those who fail are to be rewarded as wards of society. 
Entitlement will replace effort as the key to upward mobility in American society if Barack Obama gets his way. 
He seeks a lowest common denominator society in which the government besieges the successful and productive to foster equality through mediocrity. 
He and his party speak of two Americas, and their grip on power is based on using the votes of one to sap the productivity of the other.   America is not divided by the differences in our outcomes, it is divided by the differences in our efforts. 
It is a false philosophy to say one man’s success comes about unavoidably as the result of another man’s victimization. 
What Obama offered was not a solution, but a separatism. 
He fomented division and strife, pitted one set of Americans against another for his own political benefit. 
That’s what socialists offer. Marxist class warfare wrapped up with a bow. 
Two Americas, coming closer each day to proving the truth to Lincoln’s maxim that a house divided against itself cannot stand. 

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