Children Writing About the Ocean
1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight
testicles.
(Kelly, age 6)
~
2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(Jerry, age
6)
~
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an
island. If you don't have ocean all around you, you are
incontinent.
(Mike, age 7)
~
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth,
just like Emily Richardson. She's not
my friend any more.
(Kylie, age 6)
5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top
of its head.
(Billy, age 8)
~
6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men
and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs.
(Millie, age
6)
~
7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade
winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would
whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off
eating beans.
(William, age 7)
8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They
are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids
get pregnant? Like, really?
(Helen, age 6)
~
9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby
brother is always crying, my
Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't
think what to write.
(Amy, age 6)
10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.
Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the
sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher, age 7)
~
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very
cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin, age 6)
~
12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the
water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky, age 8)
13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell
off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water
fired right up her big fat ass.
(Julie, age 7)
~
14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the
fish don't drown I don't know.
(Bobby, age 6)
~
15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all
about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married
my mom.
(James, age 7)
