Garmin
~
~
I have a little
Garmin
It sits there in
my car
A Garmin is a
driver's friend
It tells you
where you are
I have a little
Garmin
I've had it all
my life
It's better than
the normal ones
My Garmin is my
wife
It gives me full
instructions
Especially how to
drive
"It's thirty
miles an hour", it says
"You're doing
thirty five"
It tells me
when to stop and start
And when to use
the brake
And tells me that
it's never ever
Safe to overtake.
It tells me when
a light is red
And when it
goes to green
It seems to know
instinctively
Just when to
intervene.
It lists the
vehicles just in front
And all those to
the rear
And taking this
into account
It specifies my
gear.
I'm sure no other
driver
Has so helpful a
device
For when we leave
and lock the car
It still gives
its advice.
It fills me up
with counselling
Each journey's
pretty fraught
So why don't I
exchange it
And get a quieter
sort?
Ah well, you see,
it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm
properly fed,
It washes all my
shirts and things
And - keeps me
warm in bed!
Despite all
these advantages
And my tendency
to scoff,
I do wish that
once in a while
I could turn the
damned thing off!
~ 