Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

   

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 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.    ~  
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.    ~  
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)    ~  
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.    ~  
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.    ~  
6. Use extra poly-grip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.    ~  
7. Have Panadol ready in case you actually complete the act.    ~  
8. Make all the noise you want.....the neighbors are deaf, too.    ~  
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!     ~  
10. Don't even think about trying it twice 

in one night!    ~  

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'OLD' IS WHEN.... He/she says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'     ~  
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.    ~  
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.    ~  
'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.    ~  
'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.    ~  
'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.    ~  
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.    ~  
'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.    ~  
'OLD' IS WHEN... You're not sure if these are facts or jokes. 

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(I sent this in large type so you can read it) 

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