For
us you old
people
ARE
WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA? ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING? REALLY???
~
ONE
Recently, I
went to McDonald's and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of
6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a
half dozen nuggets.
'We don't
have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the
counter.
'You don't?'
I replied.
'We only have
six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't
order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's
right.'
So I shook my
head and ordered six McNuggets.
(Unbelievable
but sadly true...)
(Must have
been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have
any, only Splenda and
sugar.)
(And they
think they are worth $15.00 per hour)
TWO
I was
checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt
close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the
cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan
it.
Not finding
the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this
is?'
I said to her
'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that
today.'
She said
'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no
clue to what had just happened.
(But the lady
behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)
THREE
A woman at
work was seen putting a credit card into her DVD drive and pulling it
out very quickly.
When I
inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the
Internet and they kept asking for a
credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.
(Keep
shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently
saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
'Do you need
some help?' I asked.
She replied,
'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door
un-locker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?'
Hmm, I don't
know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just
this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to
me.
As I took the
key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over
there and check about the
batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just
lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE
Several years
ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and
turned to a
secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'
'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With
that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on
the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank
copies.
A
Brunette, by
the way!!
SIX
A mother
calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her
kid to the emergency room, the kid
had eaten ants.
The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
fine, the mother says, 'I just gave
him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher:
'Rush him in to emergency right now!'
Life is
tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
Someone had
to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh....it is all
true...
~
Perks
of reaching 60 or being over 70 and heading towards
80!
1. Kidnappers
are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage
situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one
expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call
at 8 PM and ask, "Did
I wake you?"
5. People no
longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is
nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you
buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat
supper at 5 PM .
9. You can live
without sex but not your glasses.
10. Your supply
of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
11.
You can't
remember who sent you this list.
12. And you
notice these are all in Big Print for your
convenience.
Forward this to everyone you can remember right now! And remember, Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!
~
