Lawyers!

As he was getting out, a truck came along too 

closely and completely tore off the driver's door.

 
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
 

 
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your 

left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"

"OH, Crap!" screamed the lawyer...... "My Rolex!"

 ~ 

Miss Lube Rack

For those who thought 

she was good for nothing.

 ~ 

Try guessing who this is 

  ~  

before scrolling down.

 ~  

Who Was Miss Lube Rack 1951?

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It Was Not Nancy D'Alesandro (Pelosi)

 ~ 

 The photo is real but it is not of Congressional Representative Nancy Pelosi. 

The photo was taken in 1951 at the Muller Brothers Oldsmobile Tires and Carwash in Los Angeles, California by Life Magazine.  The photo was one of many that appeared in a photo documentary about the world's largest automotive service station.   The idea for the beauty contest was to celebrate the 3,000,000th vehicle to go through the car wash.  This according to a May 16, 2012 article published in the blog site of John Straub.

Nancy Pelosi was born in 1940 in Baltimore, Maryland, where her family had deep political roots. Pelosi would have been 11 years old at the time that the photo was taken.

The photo turned out to be an interesting artifact of Hollywood history and the Muller family, who settled in Los Angeles in 1893.  The family empire began with a fish market, which was later sold so they could establish Hollywood's first ice company.  In the 1920's the Mullers entered the automotive business, which later resulted in a massive automotive complex with an Oldsmobile dealership and Firestone Tire store.  The center also included a car wash, cafe, body shop, home appliance center and auto parts and supply store. According to the Foundation to support Hollywood Heritage, the Muller car complex was located on the corner of Sunset and Ivar. It was not uncommon to see Hollywood celebrities at the car complex getting their cars washed or serviced. 

The complex was conveniently located across the street from the Muller family home.  The area where the family once lived later became the site for the RCA Building and today it is the home of the Los 

Angeles Film School. Today, the former site of the world's largest service station is now home of another famous Hollywood landmark, the Cinerama Dome Theater. 

 ~ 

PERFECTLY TIMED ANIMAL SHOTS - #3 of 3

Skill or luck--these are great!

 ~ 

Third 13 of 37 perfectly timed animal shots. 

Taken with high precision but most of the 

time just some very lucky shots.

 ~  

 ~ 
 Animal photography at its best, 
at least in a fun way.
 ~  

PERFECTLY TIMED ANIMAL SHOTS - #2 of 3

Skill or luck--these are great!

 ~ 

Second 12 of 37 perfectly timed animal shots. 

Taken with high precision but most of the 

time just some lucky shots.

 ~  

 ~  

PERFECTLY TIMED ANIMAL SHOTS - #1 of 3

Skill or luck--these are great!

 ~ 

First 12 of 37 perfectly timed animal shots. 

Taken with high precision but most of the 

time just lucky shots.

 ~  

  

ONE VERY SPECIAL SEED

A successful businessman was growing old and

knew it was time to choose a successor to take over

the business.

 

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

 

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO . I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were very interested and the boss continued, "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it and care for it, then come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you.

I will then judge the plants that you bring and the one I choose will be the next CEO".

 

One man, named Joe, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

 

Joe kept checking his seed, but nothing ever happened.

 

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing grew.

 

By now, the other young executives were talking about their plants, but Joe didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

 

Six months went by -- still nothing sprouted in Joe's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Joe didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He really prayed that his seed would grow.

 

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

 

Joe told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot, but she asked him to be honest about what happened. Joe felt sick to his stomach and that it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room.

 

When Joe arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful - in all shapes and sizes. Joe put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed and a few felt sorry for him!

 

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

 

Joe just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

 

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Joe at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Joe was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

 

When Joe got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed, Joe told him the whole story.

 

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Joe. He looked at him and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!

 

His name is "Joe!" he couldn't believe it. Joe couldn't even grow his seed.

 

"How could he be the new CEO?", the other young executives said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it and care for it, then bring it back to me today. However, I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

 

All of you, except for Joe, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Joe was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me an empty pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be your new Chief Executive Officer!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment. 

 

* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

* If you plant hard work, you will reap success

* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

 

So, be careful what you plant now;

it will determine what you will reap later.

 ~  

(( BOSTONIANS ))

YOU'VE GOT TO LOVE BOSTONIANS

 

The geographical center of Boston is in Roxbury.
Due north of the center we find the South End.
This is not to be confused with South Boston which lies directly east from the South End. 
North of the South End is East Boston and southwest of East Boston is the North End.
There is no school on School St, no court on Court St, no dock on Dock Square, and no water on Water St.
Back Bay Boston streets are in alphabetical awddah: Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc.
 If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar) you are on Beacon Hill. If they are named after poets, you are in Wellesley.
 Massachusetts Avenue is Mass Ave.
Commonwealth Avenue is Comm Ave.
South Boston is Southie.
The South End is The South End.
East Boston is Eastie.
The North End is east of the former West End.
The West End and Scully Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night.
Roxbury is The Burree.
Jamaica Plain is J.P.
There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, and two Hancock buildings (one is very old; one is relatively new).
The colored lights on top the old Hancock tells the weatha:
"Solid blue, clear view"
"Flashing blue, clouds due"
"Solid red, rain ahead"
"Flashing red, snow instead" - except in summer, flashing red means the Red       Sox game was rained out!
Most people live here all their life and still do not know what the hell is going on with this one. Route 128 South is I-95 South and it is also I-93 North.
 The underground train is not a subway. It is the T, and it does not run all night (Fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).
Order the cold tea in China Town after 2:00 AM; you will get a kettle full of beer.
 Bostonians...

• think that it is their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic.
• think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet - no Rs, except in idear.
• think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
• refer to six inches of snow as a dusting.
• always bang a left as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.

• believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
• think that 63 degree ocean water is warm.
• think Rhode Island accents are annoying.

The bridge connecting Boston and Cambridge via Mass Ave is commonly known as the Harvard Bridge. When it was built, the state offered to name the bridge for the Cambridge school that could present the best claim for the honor. Harvard submitted an essay detailing its contributions to education in America, concluding that it deserved the honor of having a bridge leading into Cambridge named for the institution. MIT did a structural analysis of the bridge and found it so full of defects that they agreed that it should be named for Harvard. This is all true!
Do not pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd. They will tow it to Meffad (Medford) or Summahville (Somerville).
Do not sleep on the Common (Boston Common).
Do not wear orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.
The Sox = The Red Sox.
The Cs = The Celtics.
The Bs = The Bruins.
The Pats = The Patriots.
How to pronounce these Massachusetts cities correctly:
Worcester:  Wuhsta or Wistah
Gloucester:  Glawsta
Leicester:  Lesta
Woburn:  Woobun
Dedham:  Dead-um
Revere:  Re-vee-ah
Quincy:  Quinzee
Tewksbury:  Tooks-ber-ry
Leominster:  Lemon-sta
Peabody:  Pee-ba-dee
Waltham:  Walth-ham
Chatham:  Chad-dum
Samoset:  Sam-oh-set or Sum-aw-set, but nevah Summerset!


Massachusetts Facts:
Frappes are made with ice cream - milkshakes are not.
If it is carbonated and flavored, it is tonic.
Tonic means Soda.
When we want Club Soda we ask for CLUB SODA.
When we want Tonic Water we ask for TONIC WATER.
Pop is another name for Dad.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more than $7 per pound, you got scrod.
It is not a water fountain... it is a bubblah.
It is not a trash can... it is a barrel.
It is not a hero, or a grinder... it is a sub.
It is not a shopping caht... it is a carriage.
It is not a purse... it is a pockabook.
They are not franks... they are haht dahgs. Franks are money used in Switzahland.
Police do not drive patrol units or black and whites... they drive a crewza. 
If you take the bus, you're on the looza crooza.
It is not a rubber band... it is an elastic.
It is not a traffic circle or round about... it is a rotary. 
"Going to the islands" means going to Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket.

  ~