WRITTEN BY A 21 YEAR OLD FEMALE

   

  

This was written by a 21 yr. old female who gets it.
It's her future she's worried about and this is how
she feels about the social welfare big government
state that she's being forced to live in! These solutions
are just common sense in her opinion.  
    
Put me in charge of food stamps no cash for Ding
Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags
of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the
powdered milk you can haul away. If you want
steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.  
    
Put me in charge of Medicaid. Then, we'll test recipients
for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine. If you want to use drugs,
alcohol, or smoke, then get a job.  
    
Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a
military barracks? You will maintain our property in a
clean and good state of repair. Your "home" will be
subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be
inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then
get a job and your own place.  
    
In addition, you will either present a check stub from a
job each week or you will report to a "government" job.
It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and
repairing public housing, whatever we find for you.  We
will sell your 22-inch rims and low profile tires and your
blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward
the "common good."   
    
Before you write that I've violated someone's rights,
realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our

money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would

be too “demeaning” and ruin their “self-esteem,” consider

that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s

money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and

lowered self-esteem.   
    
If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we
should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad
choices.   The current system rewards them for continuing
to make bad choices.   
    
While you are on Gov't subsistence, you no longer can
VOTE! Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict
of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting
while you are receiving a Gov't welfare check.  
If you want to vote, then get a job.   

  .  

The Train of Life

The Train of Life 
  ~   

THIS IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND 

I AM HONORED TO HAVE RECEIVED IT.

  ~   

NOW, ON TO YOU MY FRIEND!

  ~   

 

   ~    

At birth we boarded the train and met our parents,

and we believe they will always travel on our side.

   ~    

However, at some station

our parents will step down from the train,

leaving us on this journey alone.

   ~    

As time goes by,

other people will board the train;

and they will be significant

i.e. our siblings, friends, children,

and even the love of your life.

   ~    

Many will step down

and leave a permanent vacuum.

   ~    

Others will go so unnoticed

that we don't realize

they vacated their seats.

   ~    

This train ride will be full of joy,

sorrow, fantasy, expectations,

hellos, goodbyes, and farewells.

   ~    

Success consists of having a good relationship

with all passengers

requiring that we give the best of ourselves.

   ~    

The mystery to everyone is:

We do not know at which station

we ourselves will step down.

    ~    

So, we must live in the best way,

love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are.

   ~    

It is important to do

this because when the time comes for us to step down

and leave our seat empty

we should leave behind beautiful memories

for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.   

   ~    

I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life.  

Reap success and give lots of love.  

More importantly, thank God for the journey.  

   ~    

Lastly, I thank you

for being one of the passengers on my train.  

  

   *    

 

MAYO CLINIC - DRINKING WATER

MAYO CLINIC - DRINKING WATER 

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Apparently, this internet lore about drinking water to prevent heart attacks started off as an email circulation about heart attacks and aspirin, which has now been creatively attached to information on water, Virend K. Somers,  MD told The American. Dr. Somers is the Mayo Clinic cardiologist whose name and the organization he represents have been attached to this erroneous posting. 
For starters, the posting did not come from Somers or even Mayo. 
“For clarification, we had nothing to do with the e-mail. The Mayo Clinic web site has a note about this particular e-mail, pointing out that neither Mayo Clinic nor I had any role in formulating it.” 
That would be a “ditto” on the health studies as well. 
“I have not published any studies on aspirin nor on water,” Dr. Somers added. “The entire part on aspirin was put together by someone who took the liberty of mischievously attaching our name and our work on sleep apnea to the advice.” 
Not only are some of the statements wrong. Some of this advice could hurt more than it could help. 
“Some of the advice is potentially dangerous and irresponsible, such as the part about not lying down,” Somers said. “Aspirin may also have significant side effects. Should anyone have any questions regarding aspirin and personal health issues, it would be best to discuss these with his or her physician.” 
If you’ve been advised by your doctor to take a daily low-dose aspirin, health experts currently point out that the best time to take that it for heart health is  at bedtime. The U.S. Food & Drug Administration stresses consistency in the time of day, but four hours before taking a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medication, like ibuprofen or naproxen, to reduce the risk of bleeding in the stomach or intestines. 
Bottom line: Friends don’t let friends get their health care advice from non-medical personnel on social media. Leave that to the health professionals. 
   ~     

   

Another Great But Fictitious Story

        Another Great But Fictitious Story 

   ~   

Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman 

are out for a stroll in town one day.

   ~    

As they walk, they come across a sign:
"Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

   ~   

  ~  

"I am entering" said Snow White.

   ~    

After half an hour she comes out and they ask her,
"Well, how did you do?"

   ~   

"First Place," said Snow White.

   ~   

They continue walking and they see a sign:
"Contest for the strongest man in the world."

   ~   

  ~    

"I'm entering," says Superman.

   ~   

After half an hour he returns and they ask him,
"How did you make out?"

  ~    

"First Place," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"

  ~   

They continue walking when they see a sign:
"Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

  ~   

  ~    

Pinocchio says "this one is mine."

  ~    

Half an hour later, he returns with tears in his eyes.

  ~    

"What happened?" they asked.

  ~   

  ~    

"Who the heck is Hillary Clinton?" asked Pinocchio.

  ~     

  ~  

      

FREE HAIRCUTS

  FREE HAIRCUTS 

  ~   

  ~   

Blessed  are those that can give without remembering, 

and take without forgetting. 

 ~  

   

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. 

After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the 

barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, 

 I'm doing community service this week.' 

   ~    

The florist was pleased and left the shop. 

  ~   

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. 

    ~   

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you ' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop. 

  ~  

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there

were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it. 

  ~   

  ~    

As Ronald Reagan said:

"BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE 

CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!"

  ~  

 

If you don't forward this, 

you have no sense of humor.

Nothing bad will happen; however, 

you must live with yourself knowing 

that laughter is not in your future. 

  ~   

  ~  

Billy Graham & Albert Einstein

Billy Graham & Albert Einstein 

               ~    

               ~   

Billy Graham was 96 years old with Parkinson's disease. In January, 2000 leaders in Charlotte, North Carolina, invited their favorite son,Billy Graham, to a luncheon in his honor.

Billy  initially hesitated to accept the invitation because he struggles with Parkinson's disease. But the Charlotte leaders said, 'We don't expect a major address. Just come and let us honor you.' So he agreed. 

After wonderful things were said about him, Dr. Graham stepped to the rostrum, looked at the crowd, and said, "I'm reminded today of Albert Einstein, the great physicist who this month has been honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century." 

"Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there. He looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it. The conductor said, 'Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.'" 

"Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket."

"The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are; no problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one.'"

"Einstein looked at him and said, 'Young man, I, too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going.'"

                 ~    

    

Having said that, Billy Graham continued, "See the suit I'm wearing? It's a brand new suit. My children and my grandchildren are telling me I've gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon and one more occasion. You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I'll be buried. But when you hear I'm dead, I don't want you to immediately remember the suit I'm wearing. I want you to remember this: I not only know who I am. I also know where I'm going. May your troubles be less, your blessings more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door. Life without God is like an un-sharpened pencil - it has no point."

"Amen and peace, my friends. And may each of us have lived our lives so that when our ticket is punched we don't have to worry about where we are going."  

Even at his advanced age and with Parkinson's Disease, he could still deliver a powerful sermon!   

             ~     

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  ~    

Answers To The Old Geezers Memorys Test

THE ANSWERS 

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1. c) Fender skirts, attached to the rear fenders, covered fully half the wheel streamlining the car.

             

2. a) Blue

            

3. a) Emergency brake. We grew up in much more dramatic times. [I still call it that, do you too? -DAE]

           

4. b) PF Flyers.

           

5. b) It was November 3,1948, when Truman upset Republican Thomas Dewey in the first postwar presidential election. The Trib publisher got the news late.

           

6. b) Sticky fly paper hanging from kitchen ceilings was common in American homes until insecticides like Flit became available in 40s.

           

7. b) Movie Stars

            

8. c) This is a tough one, but the answer is girdles and crinoline petticoats.

            

9. b) Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.

           

10. a) cause I eats me spinach

          

11. b) Rare hamburger or steak with tomato and lettuce.

          

12. c) Building toy structures.

          

13. a) A popular TV series called Leave it to Beaver, perhaps the most unrealistic, misleading and shallow depiction of family life ever produced for TV.

          

14. c) Children's play.

          

15. a) Baseball cards in the spokes. Who among you never did this?

           

16. a) 1914 Good then, 1935 Good now, 2000 Good always, read the back cover of a 1935 Toy Tinkers catalog.

Charles H. Pajeau and Robert Pettit, the founders of The Toy Tinkers of Evanston, Illinois, and the creators of the TINKER TOY construction set, knew that the Thousand Wonder Builder would continue to inspire the imaginations of children because of its easy-to-use, yet versatile construction system.

They are still made today, now by Hasbro.

           

17. a) Getting picked last.

As an expert on this particular humiliation, I assure you that getting picked last was far better than not getting picked at all.

             

18. b) Soap.

Was this a regional thing?

Where I grew up, spanking was the generally preferred method for punishing any childhood misdemeanor.

We wouldn't have known a time out to save our lives.

           

19. a) Kill someone.

I cant remember ever seeing the Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers or other cowboy heroes actually kill someone.

They would just shoot the gun out of the bad guys hand.

There was no blood, no violence, just folks wondering who that masked man was.

            

20. c) 1957 Ford Thunderbird.

Hard one but, let’s face it, easy answer.

The option was available only that year.

           

           

SCORING

17-20 correct:-- You are not only older than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind bloat.

12-16 correct:-- Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is definitely muddy, ready to muck up others.

0-11 correct: -- You are one sad excuse of a geezer.

        

    ~